I've decided I don't want to end up alone with cats. And living alone. With my cats. Because. Well. I'm gonna be honest. I really hate cats. So. I decided to sign up for match.com. Yes. If you would like to date me. Please fill out the application on my listing. And I'll let you know if it's ok.
So for the next 6 months, I'm going to try my damnedest to make you laugh and hopefully pee your pants. If I don't, there are no refunds.
First up. Help me. I've just re done my profile. There are no body shots, because well...I had shoulder surgery and chocolate brownie ice cream made the pain go away better than any pain killer the doc gave me. Unfortunately the side effects were weight gain. But don't worry. I'm popping diet pills like crazy. 😂
Here is my new profile. If you like Star Wars or the matrix- you'll probably appreciate it. Please. Let me know what you think as I am literally trying to sell my self. But for free. So like a free prostitute only like a more serious full time one? That's horrible.
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