Coffee House First Date Testing

So, I thought for my first blog I would let you know where I have been in my dating experiences and why I choose and have chosen to do online dating. It started when I was in college, a few of the guys I dated in college (whom I met at college) were, let's put it nicely, morons. And then other men I would meet at bars, clubs or Hooleys were, morons as well, with a smidgeon of assholelicity.
SO, I figure online dating can't be much worse than the wonderful array of men I have met without the help of the world wide web.
Wow- was I wrong.
I have probably been on roughly 200 first dates since I was 18. Because of my experience in first dates, I created a way to find out real quick if a guy is a nice guy I want to date.
I don't do this trick on men I meet in "real life"- but only online dating guys.
It is basically my way of seeing if they are selfish or not.
So, please, don't judge me- just read and go with it.

First Date Test
Location: Coffee House
Time: 6pm
Reason: Enjoy a cup of joe, while getting to know Joe (or whatever his name is)

Time I show up: 6:05pm

I show up 5 minutes late to see what he does.
I learned that he will do one of 4 things:

1. Wait for me in his car until I show up
2. Wait for me at the front door, then as I walk up he opens the door for me, we go in and he buys me a latte (this is after all a date, and I believe men should pay in the first dating stages)
3. Go inside and find a table and wait. When I arrive he doesn't hold the door for me. He stands up and we go to the counter to order. It's awkward. I don't order unless he asks what would you like?
4. He goes inside. Gets himself a drink. And then sits at an empty table. I walk in. And sit down. Don't get a drink until he asks aren't you gonna get something?

SO- in all I have done this on roughly 180 guys. Most choose either 2 or 3.

Here are some examples of the outliers.

FIRST, let me explain to you the reason why I first started this.

It was in 2003. I had a date with a guy at 6pm at the local coffee house. I was running like 2 minutes late. He calls me at 5:59pm and asks sort of meanly "Where are you?! I am here waiting!" I says to him "Oh sorry...I am waiting at the light to turn into the parking lot. See you a minute."
He seemed really irritated that he had to wait that long. Because you know, I was wasting his time or something?
SO. I turn. Park my car. Walk up to the Coffee place. I don't see him. I go into the coffee place. And there is Mr. I can't Wait 2 Minutes For You To Park Your Car sipping on his grande whatever the hell it was and sitting at a table. I walk up to him say sorry I was a little late. He says no problem. I sit down.
We chat for a second about our days as he sips on his chocolate grande drink because he hates coffee. THEN he proceeds to say "Aren't you going to get something?"
I say "oh yeah." Get up. And go buy myself a drink.
30 minutes of the most selfish date I have ever had with a guy later I leave and never see him again.
He even had the nerve to call me afterwards.
During our whole date, I think I maybe said 5 sentences about myself. It was ALL about him.

I didn't want to date, or end up marrying a guy like him. I think relationships are 50/50. Not 60/40 or 80/20 or whatever. Split even.

He gave me this idea.
Within a few minutes of seeing how a guy reacts to me being late can tell a WHOLE lot about a guy in such a short amount of time, and answers one question for me:

Is he just all about himself and thus not the guy I want to see for a 2nd or 3rd date?

Since then, I have gone on roughly 179 more of my coffee house first date tests.

The best one was where the guy waited in his car. I showed up 5 minutes late. He sees me pull in. Gets out of his car- meets me at the door and opens it for me, instead of opening it for himself first. We walk to the counter (side by side talking) and he asks me first what would I like. I tell him. And he orders it for me along with his drink. We get our drinks. Sit down. And talk for a few hours. I blew it with this guy because I had no idea how to date men before. I used to get what you would call clingy, over enthusiastic, head over heels within 6 weeks yada yada.
And since reading a few books about how to effectively date and what not, I now know that I have to choose to be different. Otherwise- I will end up an old lonely car lady. Yes car lady. I hate cats- and if I was to all alone I would probably just have a lot of cars. Not cats.

So, the last time I did the coffee house first date test on a guy this is what happened:
I show up 3 minutes late...I know I know..."What happened to 5?" Well I got sick of waiting around the corner! So just kidding. That's weird.
So I show up late. He is sitting there drinking a drink with his motorcycle helmet. I sit down. He proceeds to talk and talk and talk for about 45 minutes straight. Sipping his Venti whatever the F he ordered. While I sat there. With no drink. We got up to leave and he says Oh wow- you didn't even get a coffee. That Sucks"
Really?

So this is what you can expect from me and my wonderful online dating adventures. Hope you enjoy and remember- if you have anything to say please do so. I am just trying to find the guy I am supposed to end up. Because- if you aren't looking for anyone you won't find them.

J