I think you're looking for men not women?

Do I even need to say anything?
All I'm going to say is the guy in the middle is thinking: Oh F. Not again. Why am I always the one in the middle?!

- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

I like your snake...

His name is Irish whiskey lover and here are his pictures:



Already I know he is an alcoholic and by the looks of it he really needs to learn how clean.



He has about 10 pictures of his tattoos. This one is of his pet.
No seriously. He has a pet scorpion.
WTF do you do if THAT gets out??



Oh and he also has a snake



Yeah. Gonna pass. But thanks for giving me something to write about.

I said anytime after 6...

Wow. This guy might be too smart for dating. He asked me when was a good time to call. I says anytime after 6. He never calls but instead continues to text me about when a good time to call is. I'm tempted to say never.



















I haven't responded because I have no idea what to say. You start work at 10? Or you get done at 10? If that was the case why not say oh well I don't get done with work until late- is it okay to call you around 10? It's really weirding me out that he is proper. Even in a text message.


- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

I didn't "like" your picture...

My fingers are like little sausages and when I was looking at your pictures I hit like instead of next. So, with that said- I really appreciate your interest in me, however I am going to have decline, mainly because you are pretty much old enough to be my dad. And I already have a dad, sooo...







Oh and also- I haven't IMd someone since I was around 16...so this probably isn't going to work. Do you maybe have a son?


- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

Nesh...do I need to file a restraining order?

Nesh has now emailed me roughly 6 times now AND It's the same email!! Copy and paste!
Ah! WTF??

This was from June



And this was from last night...



Should I write him and let him know I appreciate his copy and paste emails but I find his lack of creativity boring?



- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

420 is his fav. time of the day...

Whud up? Even my iPhone knows that's not how you spell what up? And, upon further review of your profile I was able to deny your application based on your illiteracy, use of drugs, the fact that you have no picture, and you think you earned a bachelors degree from a community college.
In addition, I am now dumber after having read your profile.
Thanks.
(btw I am sooo tempted right now to email him this as my response)










Oh and 420 is your favorite time of the day huh? Mine too! Only- it's mine because I get a vanilla latte- why is it yours? Wah wah wah....

- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

Wow...you have 3 of them?

And you thought to yourself: hey put a picture up of you with all your silly birds...women will flock to you.

- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

Booty Text?

He emails me and wants to hang out...tonight. Guy it's 9:30. And I don't even know you. What makes you think I'm going to cruise over to your house and watch a movie or chill??
Oh. Oh. I get it....


- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

Is this email real?

A pretty attractive and highly intelligent man winked at me. I wrote him an email and told him thanks for the wink he seems nice and I'd like to get to know him.

He wrote me this email-- I'm a little skeptical if it's legit...he can spell and is well spoken. He doesn't use any abbreviations or slang. No negativity or complaining. Just compliments and very good ones at that. It's good, almost too good.

RE: Hi Jen=)
Good evening, Jen:

I truly am ecstatic that you wrote me back. While reading your profile the other night, I could not help but notice how many things you want in life coincide with my own. You truly seem to be a magnificent person and can only imagine you apply the same as a mother. Even more so, I can sense your business is very successful due to your genuine disposition. I thank you for the compliments. I love receiving as much I enjoy giving them to those that deserve it.
The fact that you live here in Santee is nice, but the simple delight that you appear to be a down to earth and well mannered individual is even more appealing. As you know, I am 29 and recently graduated with my Masters degree. I am currently applying as a professor of History at local junior colleges and universities. I currently substitute at Grossmont College and work as a server, but cannot wait to either obtain a full-time teaching or Archivist job. I have quite a few leads and only be optimistic that it will happen soon.
I truly hope that all is well for you and thank you very much for providing me with a pleasant close to my evening. I hope to hear from you soon and converse if you feel comfortable doing so. My cell number is # (619-***-**** . Have a great night's rest and a good day tomorrow as well. Once again, thanks for making my night=)

-Stephen




After reading it again you know what it reminds me of?! The Trueman Show with Jim Carrey.







- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone

Changed my mind- this guy is weird

So- after talking with the guy who asked me out for tonight- I have officially ruled him as having some sort of mental retardation. He was very retarded, for lack of better words. His conversation was weird and very awkward. For an example: He asked me if I had any allergies- am I allergic to anything? And just other really odd and bizarre questions...It wasn't even like normal convo- it was like dork zombie play video games all day with my cat kind of conversation. Odd.
I texted him today and said I wasn't going to be able to make it tonight- raincheck? He said sure. Then he sent me this picture:










Um it's void.

- Posted by Jen and her crazy online dating adventures from her iPhone